Thursday, May 21, 2009

Fear can take over

I had dinner with my long time friend, Maggie this week. It was quite an emotional experience for me. Maggie and I have always had the most honest relationship, so it was only natural that I felt comfortable opening up to her about my recent fears.

I am so scared to reach my weight goal. I have continually set it higher than I actually want to weigh so that I can keep "creating" a new goal. I have also binged on food as a form of self sabotage. In this never-ending cycle, I avoid attaining my goal. I used to convince myself that losing weight will solve all my problems, but surely it won't. Now that I realize this, I am so scared to reach goal.


kArLy said...

I completely understand what you are feeling. Being thin scares me alot. I have used my weight as an excuse to stop me from doing MANY, MANY things in my life. If I no longer have my weight as a shield, what can I use as an excuse?

I have self-sabatoged myself SEVERAL times throughout my journey.

Reaching my goal is a terrifying thing. I think that's why I've struggled so much. I can't even imagine my life without my weight struggles.

Bare It All said...

I think it's really easy to put all your eggs in one basket. But you have to remember that you can only fix so many things at once. Losing weight and reaching your goal will give you the confidence and the physical health to conquer all those other things that you want to change. I'm not close enough to my goal for it to scare me yet, but I totally understand what you're going through. Hang in there and just take one day at a time.