Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Gaining some weight and some perspective

I gained over the past two weeks: 3.6lbs.

I understand physically why the gain happened: excess calories and not enough exercise, but I really need to evaluate why mentally/emotionally. I realized two things: 1) I still have an emotional eating problem. It got me to be 227lbs. I have not cured myself of this by losing weight. 2) I have become lax in my weight loss efforts because I am kinda happy with the way I look right now. I know that's typically a good thing, but I think I have used hate of my body as motivation to lose. I also convinced myself that the 180's are where my body is happiest, i.e. it maintains at this weight very easily.

Bullshit! I call bullshit on myself. I could have deemed any weight decade to be my comfy zone, the weight range at which my body is happy. My body is not happy there- it knows it can do better. It remembers being 160lbs and it liked it. My mind is happy there- convinced it couldn't possibly fit in another workout or plan ahead more with meals.

I know I can do better and I must.

2 comments:

Cole Walter Mellon said...

In my experience, conquering that quivering mass of jello upstairs is the only way to take a serious run at the jiggly stuff downstairs. The brain can be our best weapon in fighting off these pounds, but we gotta put it to good use. Sounds like you're ready to fight the good fight...

Carlos said...

good for you... get after it... sorry for your gain...