Blink of an eye

The expression blink of an eye is really what has motivated me throughout this weight loss journey.

Yesterday, I was running somewhat of a new route, and I passed this house that had a wheelchair ramp that spanned from the front door to the sidewalk. Seeing this instantly gave me a boost- I ran harder and faster. I remember seeing the ramp and thinking, what perseverance! It must be difficult to push on when faced with that disability. In that moment, I ran for that person, whoever he or she was, because they could not.

Whoever's ramp that was may have had his or her life changed in the blink of an eye- walking one minute and wheel-chair bound the next. I've seen so many lives change that way and it has made me very grateful, but it has also made me learn to live in the moment, which is a valuable lesson for weight loss.

If you think you are not worth it, change your attitude now
If you are not satisfied with your weight loss results, do something about it now.
If things have hurt you in the past, let go of it and live in the now.

Now is very empowering because everything can change in the blink of an eye.

Weigh In and a C25K Buddy

This week posted a 2lb loss: wahoooo! Finally a legit loss. I earned it by committing to changing my exercise routine and it feels good.

Speaking of exercise, my fiance joined me on my run last night. He was doing okay in the beginning, but had to call it quits half-way through because his legs couldn't handle it. He said, "I give you a lot credit. This is really hard!" It felt really good to hear that, especially because my fiance has 6% body fat and a 29inch waist- bastard!

The 20lb push

I am getting so close to my goal weight that I can taste it. I'm ready to take things to the next level in order to lose the last 20lbs (well, 24lbs actually). Just as I was ramping up my exercise routine, I was blessed with some extra motivation. One of my favorite bloggers is also in the push to lose her final 20lbs. She has organized a lose 20lbs in 20 weeks challenge.

As of Sunday, she had 144 people sign up!! What started as a simple way to motivate herself (and some of her fellow bloggers) is going to change the lives of so many people.

One follower of the blog even created some nifty banners and tracking tools for the challenge:


My goal is to lose 24lbs in 20 weeks, to reach my goal weight of 165lbs.

Who Stands on a Car?!?!

Warning: this is a bitter rant about some crap that happened this week.

This week has been one of the worst week's for my fiance in a long time. The poor guy keeps getting punched in the gut, scraping himself off the floor and standing up only to get punched again.

He officially became a graduate student this semester. Well, his first mid-term really did not go well. He is very hard on himself, so I had little success trying to cheer him up over the phone (we still don't live under one roof, yet). I got to see him last night so we could go meet with a wedding photographer. After the meeting, we stopped to get dinner and noticed two foot prints on his car. Not only were there two foot prints on his freshly washed car, but the jerk that did this badly dented the hood! WHO STANDS ON A CAR?! I cannot wrap my head around this. Who was raised to believe that this behavior is acceptable?

How does everyone out there in blog-land deal with these types of injustices?

This morning I woke up to SNOW on the FIRST DAY OF SPRING. What?! I had a very long commute ahead of me this morning. It was going well until I was about 7 miles from work. There was an oil tanker spill closing all but one lane on the Long Island Expressway. It took me 3 hours to get to work. Now I have to get all my work done and get out of work before I get stuck in Friday traffic heading to NYC. I have to finish packing because I am officially moving all of my furniture and other worldly possessions this weekend.

We will now return to out regularly scheduled weigh loss posts. Thank you for your patience.

St. Patty's Day Smack-down

The bar can easily become my enemy- especially on St. Patty's Day when the drinks are free and the corned beef is served buffet style. I had to drive, so I easily limited myself to one drink. I don't really like st. patty's day foods, so I could resist the open buffet, but it was tempting when my friends started ordering plates of bar food. I have to give myself a little pat on the back for only eating the celery sticks off the wings plate.

I could have easily consumed a days worth of points at the bar- I hadn't eaten dinner, I haven't been out to a bar in 2 months, etc. I just wish I could have capped off a day of good choices with some exercise. If I do only one thing tonight, it will be exercise!

C25K Day 1

I kept my word: I bought the necessary tools, plotted my running route, downloading a nifty podcast of techno beats with cues for the switch from running to walking (Thanks Julia!), and I ran.

It was comical! My pants were falling down during every running interval so I'd spend the walking intervals rolling them up. I can say something positive though: I did it!

My first impression of the program's first and second weeks is that they are challenging, not discouraging.

Run Forrest Run!

For the past three weeks I have been in the range of 2lbs: 188-190. How fun!

I don't think I am in self-sabotage mode, but something just isn't clicking. I've talked about upping my exercise routine, but so far I've only been able to incorporate pilates 4 times a week. While it's good for the tiny muscles and the core, it sure isn't burning calories.

It's time for some good old cardio, but I have to confess I am scared. I plan to give the Couch to 5K program a whirl because the farthest distance I have ever run is 2 miles, 1 mile short of a 5K.

I hate running. I'm not good at it, it hurts my chest (even with two bras on), I get as red as the koolaid man, I gasp for air. Even when I was an athlete in high school I hated running, so I think that it will be the most effective way to get the last 25 lbs off. Even writing about running is making me tense with anxiety. With the beginning of daylight savings, there is plenty of light to run outside and the weather is warming up. I'm going out to buy a new pair of running shoes tomorrow and a new sports bra, which will eliminate the last few excuses I have to keep myself from running. I'm gonna need everyone's support to get through this fear and keep motivated.

Emotional Wreckage

This week has been emotionally challenging...

I'm really starting to miss my fiance. I mean, we have been glued at the hip for the past 5 1/2 years, and as stupid and trite as it sounds he is my best friend.

It really hit me when I got the terrible news that a friend from college was found dead over the weekend in a river. Homicide or suicide (most likely the latter) ended her life. She was a petite adorable Filipino who always smiled, asked how you were, and listened sympathetically if something was not right in your world. She will be missed.

I really could have inflicted some bodily damage by overeating to fill the emotional void, but I've been eating surprisingly healthy, and I haven't missed a day of exercise this week. I think when I'm truly shaken to the core, I feel glad to be alive, healthy, and able to exercise.

My body feels really strong this week- good thing, because it has to haul around tons of emotional wreckage....

Birds of a feather?

So this weekend culminated my move from my and my fiance's spacious 2 bedroom apartment to my future in-laws tiny home in Long Island, NY. The worst part, however, is that my fiance has not yet joined me here. His commute is much shorter from our apartment, so until someone is found to rent the place, he'll probably be staying there.

Why would I put myself through this kind of torture? The decision can be summed up in one symbol: $. That's right boys and girls, I am living rent free. That means I get to stash away my cash for an exotic honeymoon and a first home.

Until there is enough money for a down payment, however, I get to live under the watchful eye of the dieting nazi herself: my future mother-in-law. This women lives to be thin (and push this ideal on others). She eats the same thing everyday: cereal, yogurt, turkey sandwich, apple, grilled chicken, salad, and diet ice cream, sleep, and repeat. Needless to say our ideas of a healthy and fulfilled lifestyle greatly differ. She does, however, have a very balanced take on exercise: cardio 7 days a week, pilates and weights 3 days a week, and yoga 3 days a week.

On Sunday, I finally got back into the Shred. Then, I followed it up with a 5pm pilates session with the future mother-in-law. Today, I did the Shred again. Tomorrow, Shred again and another session of pilates. While I doubt I'll be restricting myself to the same foods everyday of my life, I'll definitely try to allow this positive influence on my exercise routine.

I guess birds of a feather really do flock together....