Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Back and forth

I haven't been posting too often because I keep going back and forth about my desire to continue... much like I keep going back and forth about my desire to lose more weight.

On one hand, at least 15 people told me I look amazing this weekend and that I look like I lost weight - mind you I am up 7lbs from my lowest weight last year. My fiance loves me no matter what I look like - that was reinforced when he never changed how he treated me whether I weighed 155lbs when I met him or at my *known* peak of 227lbs. But, ultimately I am not satisfied with my body, and I want to feel complete and utter love for my body and comfort in my skin.

I have to do this for myself.

3 comments:

Cole Walter Mellon said...

As somebody who's spent his entire life yo-yo'ing, I'd encourage to keep at least a every-once-in-awhile presence on here just to keep you honest. I know that I have a bad habit of letting things get out of hand once I start sliding. I forget that actions have consequences, that exercise keeps me from overeating. Then I turn around twice and I'm back where I started, or worse. And the thing is that nobody's going to tell you "Hey, looks like you're gaining weight again" the same way they're telling you that you look like you're losing weight.

I'm not really trying to lose weight anymore, but I sure as hell don't want to gain it all back.

Just my 2¢...

Anonymous said...

Don't settle! You can have the body you dream of.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the focus can just be on feeling "healthy" and not so much about a number. Keep running, keep eating well, keep taking care of yourself and you can't go wrong! :)

On another note, I'm back and hoping to catch up with your life and all. Is the wedding coming up soon?